Being Selfish? (Jess)

It is crazy when ish hits the fan
spill it on a dish with liquid soap scrub it
lowlife wants to know my life
but I aint gonna share to you, my strife
cut it stab it stir it up with a knife
all I wanna do is destressify
complicating my mind is what i try
to avoid i spill the milk on the table
clean it up dont label me
im just sitting trying to stay low key
feeling good bustin round
keepin my head up not down
dont let it drown to the bottom of the sea
if you wanna bother me dont bother you should let me be
alone or social
stone face or emotional
stressed is a component
of my life as of now you know it
i grow up more and more everyday
i lose a breath as a get on my way
to where ill end up I dont know as of now
sitting on a cloud looking down and around
at all the world and other beings living
wishing i could of done that and forgiven
those that i held a grudge to
but now i know its stupid to do
that and hit my head with wack thoughts
like blood clots they fill up hit me like a rock
tick tock goes the clock i sit up or lay in bed
resting up my dreary head
waiting for the day to begin
washing off my feet of sins
knowing that im so damn lucky
to be livin in this world with minimal struggle
apposed to those who have it worse than me almost double
living in a shack full of straw and mud
while im complainin of the noise upstairs hear a loud thud
i should be more greatful for what i got
how do i show that without lookin self distraught
hopefully someday i can repay all the selfish things ive done
to hurt anyone like a bullet in a gun shot through the heart down
searching for that last breath to keep me on the ground.